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[Yama fic] Be Happy For Me

Title: Be Happy For Me
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, angst, romance
Summary: Ohno POV. Seeing Sho again at their ten-year school reunion brought back old memories and feelings.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I never thought I’d come back here. Ten years, I have not found good enough reasons for me to come back to this place that gave me bittersweet memories. When the invitation to our ten-year graduation reunion came, I decided to attend. It’s time for me to face what I had been avoiding for ten years.

Nothing seemed to have changed here. I walked around the town I grew up in, memories kept flushing back. Good and bad.

“You know, Sho, I can’t wait to leave this town after graduation. There are lots of places I want to go. How about we buy a boat and sail around the world?”

I used to say this to Sho all the time. It might sound crazy, but it was my dream at the time, and I really wanted to make it come true, with Sho.

“What is your dream, Sho?”

He never answered me.

I came to this hillside, the place where he both captured my heart and then broke it. It oversaw almost the whole town from high above. We used to come here together, feeling free and relaxed. Looking down from above, we felt we could overcome any obstacles that came our way. Well, at least that’s what I felt. I had assumed Sho felt the same way.

Nothing changed much in this place, as I expected. Nothing in this town ever changed, so boring. What I didn’t expect was to see Sho there as well.


My heart immediately started to beat faster. He still had such effect on me.

He turned around and saw me, looked as surprised as I was.

He hasn’t changed much. Time didn’t seem to take any toll on him. Other than adding on a glimpse of maturity, he still has the gorgeous look and cuteness that I fell for years ago.

“Satoshi, you made it. I didn’t expect you’d come to the reunion.”

The bit of surprise in him quickly subsided. The calmness in his tone irritated me. Didn’t he even have a little excitement seeing me at all?

“Why would I miss our reunion? You didn’t think there’s anyone here I wanted to see?” I was a little angry and Sho could feel it. He was silent for a while.

“I just didn’t think you ever wanted to come back to this town. You were happy somewhere else, right?”

“I was, I am.” I replied him with a affirmative tone. I wanted to emphasize that I was happy, even without him.

But was I?

“It’s so high. Don’t make me go up there, Satoshi. You know I’m scared of height.”

“Come on, don’t be afraid. I’m right here. Take my hand.”

“Al – alright. But don’t let go.”

No, I don’t want to let go, ever. This was the first time I led Sho to the hillside. It had become our regular meeting place ever since.

“Oh, Satoshi. It’s beautiful up here.” Sho took several deep breathes and shouted out as loud as he could. “I want to fly!”

Then he suddenly ran towards me, cupped my cheeks and kissed me. It was a short kiss, but after he pulled away, I saw the biggest, brightest smile on his face that I’d ever seen.

That was the only time I saw such smile on his face.

We never talked about the kiss afterwards. At first I was shy, but after I knew for sure I wanted more than friendship between us and tried to bring this up, Sho avoided the subject and pulled away. I never had the courage to confess to him, afraid that a wrong move would ruin what we had and I’d lose him for good. I couldn’t let that happen, and I had hoped that he would come around someday.

“I heard you have – found someone.” Sho said softly but without looking at me.

I was stunned with what he said. I didn’t think he’d be interested in knowing where I was and what I did. At that moment, I didn’t know how to respond.

“Did he come with you to the reunion?” Sho’s question saved me from the awkward moment.

“Umm, no, I don’t think he would like it here.” It’s a lousy excuse. In fact, he wanted to come but I refused. May be I didn’t want him to meet Sho, or more like I didn’t want Sho to meet him.

“That’s too bad. I would love to meet this lucky guy.”

Lucky guy? You really want to meet my lover? I was really getting annoyed. Did he need to be so sarcastic? Did he really don’t know that this lucky guy could be him?

“I am leaving tomorrow.” I told Sho the night before I left town after graduation, at the same hillside.

Our relationship hasn’t unchanged. We are friends, just friends, although I wanted more. I was so sure Sho wanted the same, especially after the kiss. But he kept his distance. We were so close and yet so far apart.

Ask me to stay. I was praying hard inside. If you say so, I will stay, to be with you, no matter how much I wanted to leave. But he didn’t.

“I’m not good at saying goodbye on the spot. I’ll just do it here.” He said so casually that I wanted to punch him. Then he just turned around and walked away.

Step by step, I watched him walking away from me, from us, even though there was never an ‘us’ to begin with.

Just turn around, turn around and look at me even once, and I’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes for you to come around. Please! I was begging him silently. But he didn’t either.

I never forgot that moment, feeling my heart broken into pieces. I didn’t understand why. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he felt nothing for me.

“How about you?” I couldn’t help asking. Was I not good enough for him?

Sho slowly shook his head. “Why taking from someone when you know you won’t be able to give back in return?”

“Why, Sho?” I couldn’t hold back any longer. I have to know. “Why did you push me away? You could have left with me back then. I knew you wanted to. But why didn’t you?”

He walked towards the edge of the hillside and looked down while I waited anxiously for his answer.

“It’s beautiful up here, isn’t it?” He didn’t seem to be answered my question. I was about to yell at him in frustration when he continued, “You see all the buildings down there? They are the factories and offices of my family’s company.”

“What did they have anything to do with us?” I was all confused.

He ignored my question, once again, and continued talking on his own. “Our company employs a total of more than 500 people. It’s the biggest employer in this town.” He turned around and looked at me. His expression was so calm that it bothered me.

“Do you know what would happen if our company closes down, Satoshi?” He let out a big sigh. “More than half of the people here will be unemployed. Those who saw me growing up, those who comforted me and treated me as their own kid. They depend on these jobs to feed their families. I am obligated to keep the company going. It’s my responsibility.”

I was speechless. I never knew Sho had such heavy burden on his shoulders.

“I couldn’t afford to go anywhere. My root is here. People here depend on me.”

“But I could have stayed here with you, if you would just ask.” I still insisted. “You didn’t need to take on these all by yourself.”

Sho smiled at me. “I knew you would, but I’d be selfish if I did. You wouldn’t be happy here, not for long. I knew how much you wanted to break away. Now at least one of us is living a happy life.”

All these years I blamed him for pushing me away, throwing away what we could have, I had no idea what was behind it. Not letting us got serious was actually Sho’s way of protecting us, preventing either of us from getting hurt. May be he’s right. I wouldn’t survive staying here.

I found my happiness, even though there’s a hole in my heart that would never be filled. What about Sho? He deserved so much more.

I was still drowning in my guilty conscience when Sho walked over to me, cupped my cheeks and covered my mouth with his, just like our first and only kiss. The kiss was not deep, but the meaning of it was.

When we finally parted, he looked me in the eyes and said softly “Be happy, for me?”

I nodded.  “You do the same.”

Sho smiled and walked down the hill.

We may not be walking the same path, but hopefully each of us can find our own happiness along the way.

// The End

A/N:  Feel like writing a little angst for a change XD  Hope you'll like it as well.
        For those of you who were following Rental Lover, sorry for the not updating for so long. I have not forgotten the story.
        I am working on it and hopefully will post the next chapter soon. Thanks for your patience :)


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 5th, 2012 09:26 pm (UTC)
When we finally parted, he looked me in the eyes and said softly “Be happy, for me?” -- Sho~ Sho~ Sho~ Aww, heart breaking.

Thanks for sharing! :)
Jun. 5th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
Yama angst...so bittersweet. Thanks for sharing.
Jun. 5th, 2012 09:59 pm (UTC)
you made me cry T^T
this is beautiful.. but really.. you broke yama apart T^T
Jun. 5th, 2012 11:14 pm (UTC)
Ahhh. This story made me wanna tear!!! *sobs*
U succeeded in writing an angst fic, Kee.
I m so proud of u!!!! *pinches kee's cheek*

It's so natural of Sho trying to protect Satoshi from harm, like wad he's always doing
Very sweet, but he must b feeling more SAD than Satoshi for sure.
But I like it, though it's sad. Really sad. > <~~~~~
Jun. 6th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
ah, i am crying now. be loved by someone like that is very grateful. i am just broke up with my boyfriend cause he demanded so much from me. sorry for my comment.
Jun. 6th, 2012 07:56 am (UTC)
"be happy for me"the best line
Jun. 6th, 2012 08:12 am (UTC)
You make me cry.....
Jun. 6th, 2012 08:51 am (UTC)
Be happy for me?
Best line!!
This lingered to my heart..

Since you mention Rental Lover, me and my friends are waiting for the update.. Hope you update it soon..
We are really so into the story..
Jun. 6th, 2012 09:29 am (UTC)
Ooh... this is really heartbreaking... (>x<)
But I really love the last line, it's beautiful <3
I miss Rental Lover, and I'll wait patiently for updates <3
Thanks for sharing! (^ ^)
Jun. 6th, 2012 11:52 am (UTC)
awwww.. it made me sad.. :(
Jun. 6th, 2012 12:00 pm (UTC)
that´s so sad :-( too heartbreaking :-(
Jun. 6th, 2012 12:51 pm (UTC)
Nice angst.
But oh the angst.
What Sho said to Ohno after he kissed him, so sweet.

Thanks for sharing :)
Jun. 7th, 2012 01:24 am (UTC)

It's beautiful yet so sad!!
I feel so sad for them :#

Thanks for writing and sharing!
Jun. 7th, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
gah! my heart!~
it's bittersweet that they both want to be happy and yet unable to be so together.
that they could have had so much more, but can only wish for each others happiness.
it makes me happy though, that they both are now able to finally let go, in their own way.
i love how Sho is protecting Ohno even then
thanks for sharing this, even if it's angst-y <3
Jun. 9th, 2012 01:55 am (UTC)
I felt weird when I said that this is a refreshing kind of angst
I guess they still have feelings for each other although circumstances didn't allow them to be together.
So bittersweet >_
Nov. 4th, 2012 11:24 am (UTC)
you're really talented in writing.
this is deep. i feel like teary ><
i love your fics, so keep writing <3
Feb. 5th, 2013 01:37 am (UTC)
This is so tragically beautiful! It's so sad, but I really couldn't help falling in love with it <3 It's the worst kind of tragedy when mere circumstances are keeping two people who obviously love each other apart.

Aww, why can't life be just easy for these two? T.T
May. 1st, 2016 04:00 pm (UTC)
I'm a mess *sobs*

Thank you for this fic!
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )