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Title:  One More Time, One More Chance
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating:  PG-13
Genre: AU, angst, drama

Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Love is a beautiful thing. But Ohno and Sho’s love was developed from some dark secrets. When the secrets are exposed, one was hurt deeply and left the other one full of regrets, hoping for a second chance.

[ Part 1 ]

Sho’s Journal               February 28, 2013

I feel like Satoshi is avoiding me lately. Even when we were together, he was so quiet. There were times when he said he was busy with school work and the internship work at Papa’s company, and rejected my requests to see me. What’s going on? Did my confession scare him? Doesn’t he share the same feelings as me? He still hold me, kiss me, but never did once that he said he loves me. I feel like he distanced himself from me on purpose. But why? I’m scared. I’m really scared of losing him.

Jun: Sho, want to talk about it?
Sho: Oh, Jun. It’s you. Talk about what?
Jun: You rejected me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you anymore. We are still friends, aren’t we?
Sho: Of course we are friends.
Jun: Then tell me what’s upsetting you. Is that Ohno? I’ll kill him if he hurts you.
Sho: Thank you for being a good friend, but it’s between me and him. Nobody can help. Besides, I don’t even know what went wrong.
Jun: Have you asked him?
Sho: He never answered me directly, just said he was busy. But I can feel that this is just an excuse, a very lame excuse.
Jun: May be tried asking your father? He works with him, doesn’t he? It probably is something at work which he doesn’t want to bother you with.
Sho: That’s right? I’m so dumb. I’m going right now.
Jun: (Sigh) I wish I had such effect on Sho as Ohno. He’d better treasures Sho’s love for him.

I am so glad I asked Papa, not because that solved my puzzled on Ohno’s behavior, but made me realized that Papa’s company is in such big trouble. I was so preoccupied with my own issue that I had ignored what’s happening with Papa. He looked so tired, so distraught. And I only cared about my own problem. I know business world is unpredictable, but Papa’s business was going so well for years. How come it just goes downhill so suddenly? I wish there’s something I can do to help. That would also explain why Satoshi has been so out of it lately. He must be worried about Papa’s business as well. I’m so stupid to doubt his feelings for me. But – he still hasn’t said he loves me – even once –

Satoshi’s Journal                   November 26, 2013

I finally did it. Sakura’s company closed down and he lost everything. I’ve gotten back everything that belongs to us, belongs to my family. I went to Papa’s grave and told him that. He should be proud of me. Mama couldn’t wait to go off and celebrates our victory. She immediately looked for a new apartment and went on a shopping spree. She didn’t even accompany me to visit Papa’s grave. Isn’t that what we did all this for? For Papa?

I won. I should be happy, right? But I’m not. In the contrary, I feel very sad, sadder than I’ve ever been. Why?!

Sho was devastated, as expected. His father took it very hard in losing his company and his health deteriorated dramatically. Sho tried his best to comfort his father, but I knew that he needed someone to comfort him as well. He needed me. I know that. But I can’t be there for him. I can’t be his support or his crying shoulder. This was part of Mama’s plan, to make Sakurai’s son fall for me, and then dump him in the most heartless way. I didn’t think it was a good idea, but thought it wasn’t so hard to do. I never expected to develop feelings for him, never expected to fall in love with him. He is such a pure, kind, loving guy with an innocent heart. How can I hurt him like this? Now that his father had lost his company, I hope Mama will be lenient on him and just let me walk away from his life. I don’t expect any hope for a future with him, but the least I can do is not to hurt him even more.

Nino: Ohno, where the hell have you been?
Aiba: We’ve been looking for you everywhere?
Satoshi: What do you want from me?
Nino: Look, we may not be friends, but we all care about Sho. He needs you now.
Satoshi: He will come to me if he really needs me. No need for you to be his messenger. Just mind your own business, will you?
Aiba: He did look for you, but you’re nowhere to be found.
Nino: How can he leave the hospital now, you idiot. Are you avoiding him or something?
Satoshi: Hey, get off me. Why is he in the hospital? Is he alright?
Nino: Are you even his boyfriend? His father suffered a heart attack two days ago and still in ICU. How can you not know that? Really want to beat you up.
Satoshi: Heart attack?
Aiba: He called you numerous times but you didn’t answer. He didn’t say but we knew he wants you to be with him.
Nino: Go and be with him. His father’s condition is not looking good. He needs you.

Sho’s Journal               November 26, 2013

Papa, don’t leave me please, Papa. No matter how many times I begged, how many times I cried, Papa didn’t answer me. He didn’t open his eyes, he did move a bit –

Papa left me tonight. I’m all alone.

Ever since he lost his company, he had practically shut himself down. He wouldn’t talk, he wouldn’t eat, just spent the whole time staring at the banner of his company which was the one thing he could take with him when the creditors locked up the place. His company, his business was his life and now it’s gone. I’ve never seen him that devastated ever since Mama left. His eyes were empty, like he had lost every bit of energy and every bit of will to live. My heart broke to see him like that and yet I couldn’t do a damn thing to help him. Then two days ago when he received an anniversary card from a former client, who obviously didn’t know what’s going on, to celebrate the company’s fifteen anniversary, his body couldn’t take it and suffered a heart attack. He was in a coma in the ICU since I rushed him to the hospital, and finally left me today.

How I wish Satoshi was here with me. I couldn’t deal with this all by myself. I am not as strong as he thought I was. I needed him. But where is he? No answer to phone calls, no answer at his apartment. He seemed to have disappeared from the face of the earth. I thought he didn’t have time for me because he was worried about the company business just like Papa did, but my suspicion about him avoiding me on purpose seems to be the real truth.

Satoshi: Sho, you are really here –
Sho: Satoshi –
Satoshi: Nino, Aiba and Matsumoto had been looking all over for you. I knew you would come to the tree house.
Sho: Papa – he –
Satoshi: I just heard – I’m so sorry –
Sho: Hold me Satoshi, please hold me –
Satoshi: Shuuu – I’m right here, I’m right besides you
Sho: I’m so scared. I’m all alone now.
Satoshi: You will be alright. I know you will.
Sho: You won’t leave me, will you? You will always be with me. Please promise me you will.
Satoshi: You are in my arms, aren’t you? Just don’t worry about anything for now.
Sho: Kiss me, Satoshi, I want you to kiss me –

Satoshi’s Journal                   January 25, 2014

Today is Sho’s birthday. I promised him I would spend the day with him. It’s one of the very few promises I made to Sho that I could actually keep.

We became intimate and spent the night together for the first time on the night at the tree house. It was lovely, but I regret doing it. Not because I don’t love Sho. I do, I really do, but we have no future together. The closer we get, the more hurt he will be when he found out who’s behind his family’s lost. Even though I’m just doing what his father did to our family years ago to get equal, he is the ultimate victim here. He did nothing wrong and yet he had to bear all the consequences. For the past few months I did spend a lot of time with him. I want to help him recover from his father’s death and help him get back on his feet before I leave him. May be I’m doing it out of guilt more than out of love. I don’t know. But we were happy these part couple of months, I was happy. For once I forgot about revenge, hatred, plans and just enjoyed the time I had with Sho. I almost pretend that we might really have a future together, but not for long.

Mama came back to bug me after a couple of months of enjoying your new life. She demanded me to finish the job and moved with her to another city to start over. I just don’t have the heart to do it. My heart also hurts just by thinking what it would do to Sho in his fragile state.

Mama: What are you waiting for Satoshi? I just go easy on you for the last two months and you forgot all about what you needed to do already?
Satoshi: Mama, we have already made his company closed down and got back all the money. The culprit is also dead. I think we have achieved what we come here for. Let’s just leave this place and start over.
Mama: Stop this nonsense. We agreed on what we planned to do and we are not going anywhere until they are done. This last part should be a piece of cake. That Sakurai kid had fallen for you deeply and all you need to do is to give him a hard kick and he would be down in hell.
Satoshi: But Sho had done nothing bad to us and he has been through so much already. We didn’t plan on Sakurai being dead and he already gave us the bonus. Can’t we just have a little mercy and spare Sho from any more pain?
Mama: Why are you defending him? Don’t tell me you really have feelings for him? I taught you better than that. If you are not doing it, I will –

Sho’s Journal               January 25, 2014

I really looked forward to today. Since Papa died, I almost lost my will to go on. I lost everything, my home, my father. If it weren’t for Jun’s parents, I wouldn’t even be able to pay the tuition for my last semester. Nino and Aiba let me stayed with them until I can afford my own place, and cheered me up with their crazy jokes. But Satoshi was the one who gave me my strength back. We became – closer than ever. I can’t imagine a minute without him.

Satoshi: Happy Birthday, Sho!
Sho: Thank you, Satoshi. I wish Papa was here to celebrate with me. This is the first birthday I have without my parents. But at least I have you.
Satoshi: You are doing much better now. You are a strong person, you’ll be fine without anyone. Have confidence in yourself.
Sho: How about we move in together after we graduate? Then we can take care of each other. We can start to plan what we want to do for our future.
Satoshi: Future? Future seems so far away. Who knows what will happen even tomorrow? Let’s just concentrate on enjoying our time together now.
Sho: Why are you so pessimistic whenever I talk about our future? You asked me to be confident and yet you are like a leaking balloon when this topic comes up.

Satoshi and I will be graduating in a few months. I really think we can build a life together. I don’t have family anymore, but I have good friends and Satoshi. My life is not as gloomy as I thought.

But an unexpected intruder took away all my hopes and broke all my dreams.

Satoshi: Mama, what are you doing here?
Mama: I come here to finish the job for you!
Satoshi: No – Mama – no –
Sho: Mrs. Ohno? Welcome, please have a seat and –
Mama: I am not here for casual visit. Satoshi, are you going to tell him or do I need to?
Sho: Tell me? Tell me what? What is it, Satoshi? Is there something I should know?
Satoshi: Please don’t –
Mama: You shut up! Sakurai san, my son doesn’t love you. All of these are just our plans, our plans to get revenge on what your father had done to our family.
Sho: Plan – my father? Satoshi, what is this all about? What are your plans? Tell me –
Satoshi: Sho – I –
Sho: I want the truth!
Mama: You’re so useless, Satoshi! Let me tell you then. Your father and Satoshi’s father were business partners, but your father stole the business away from us. We lost everything. Satoshi’s father couldn’t take it and committed suicide, leaving me and Satoshi behind with nothing. Your Mama left because she couldn’t stand having a fraud as her husband. I swore that I will get back what’s stolen from us and Satoshi helped me did just that. We also have you to thank. If it weren’t for you, Satoshi wouldn’t get close to your father so easily. You’re so easy to manipulate.
Sho: Satoshi – it’s not true, isn’t it? Tell me it’s not true!
Satoshi: Sho – I’m so sorry –
Sho: No, my father wouldn’t steal anyone’s business. He’s an honest person. He wouldn’t do something like that. You’re lying, you’re all lying!
Mama: I feel so sorry for you, young man. You’re so ignorant. You don’t know the persons you love, you don’t know the persons around you. You’re just a dumb idiot! Let’s go Satoshi, our mission is accomplished here.
Sho: Wait! Satoshi, can I ask you one last question? Have you ever loved me? Truly loved me?
Satoshi: I –
Mama: (cough, cough)
Satoshi: No! I’ve never loved you – never –

Satoshi’s Journal                   March 21, 2014

Spring is supposed to be a season of hope. Cherry blossoms are blooming everywhere. It’s a beautiful scenary, but to me, not even the most beautiful thing on earth can swipe away the gloominess in my heart.

I am so weak. If I had been stronger, I would have stood up to Mama and prevented her from hurting Sho like that. I didn’t blame her. She suffered a lot when Papa died and had to take care of me all by herself. It wasn’t easy for her and wanting to get even was just an expected mission on her mind. But something I found accidentally changed everything.

Satoshi: What is this? Mama, tell me what’s written on this letter is not true!
Mama: Where did you find this letter?
Satoshi: In a pile of old papers Sho’s father kept with the company’s legal documents.
Mama: Those are just useless papers. Just give to me and I’ll shred them.
Satoshi: Not so fast. Not until you answer my questions. Why did Papa apologize to Sho’s father? Why did he beg Sakurai not to file charges against him? What kind of charges can Sakurai possibly filed against Papa?
Mama: How – how do I know?
Satoshi: Don’t lie to me! I am not that dumb. I am your son, remember? I know you. Your reactions already sold you out. Come on, tell me.
Mama: Don’t talk to me in such disrespectful tone! Fine, there’s no harm telling you now anyway. Sakurai didn’t steal your father’s business. Your father was the one who tried to take away Sakurai’s business. But Sakurai found out about it, so your father tried to talk him into not filing any charges.
Satoshi: You’re lying. Papa wouldn’t do such things. Don’t dirty Papa’s good name.
Mama: Your father is just a useless old man. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t even got to where he was. He’d do anything I asked him to. But too bad, I gave him too much credit. He couldn’t even accomplish this one little thing. Then when he was exposed, he could take it and just ended his own life.
Satoshi: So what you asked me to do to him is not revenge?
Mama: It was revenge. They still broke up our family. What they had should have been ours. I was getting back what belonged to us and made them pay.
Satoshi: Oh, Mama. What have you made me do?

Sho’s Journal               March 21, 2014

I had thought that when Cherry Blossoms bloomed this year, I would have starting a new life with Satoshi. But here I am, having no place to go and no goal in life. I wandered around the streets aimlessly, don’t know where I am going and what I should do next.

I have lost everything, and I have no one to blame but myself. I fell into Satoshi’s trap and led him right to Papa. I was too desperate to find a soul mate and I really thought Satoshi was the one. If it weren’t for me, Papa would still be alive. I should be the one who died. I thought about suicide, but I still don’t have the courage to do so. Shame on me. May be the best penalty for me is to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I don’t blame Satoshi for what he did, after all my father was the one who put him in that position. What hurt me the most was that Satoshi said he never loved me. Now I know why he never said to me that he loves me.

Aiba: Sho, you don’t really have to go. You still have us.
Nino: Aiba is right. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Jun: I’m going to kill Ohno for what he’d done to you.
Sho: Thank you, guys. I know you care about me, but now I just want to be alone to think things through. And promise me you won’t do anything stupid. I don’t want you to get into any trouble because of me.
Aiba: Where are you going? We’ll miss you.
Sho: I don’t know yet, but I will keep in touch. Don’t worry about me.
Nino: Call us if you need anything, OK?
Jun: My feelings for you haven’t changed. You know where to find me if you change your mind.
Sho: My heart is dead. I don’t know if I can ever love again.

Satoshi’s Journal                   May 11, 2014

What have I done? How could I be so stupid and being used my Mama to satisfy her greed. I found out later from an old employee of Sakurai’s company that Papa and Sakurai were very good friends. When Papa’s fraudulence act was exposed, Sho’s mother wanted to file charges, Sakurai didn’t agree. He wanted to give his good friend another change. That’s why Sho’s mother left thinking her husband saw his friend over his family. If Mama didn’t push Papa into doing such things, all of these unfortunates wouldn’t happen. Both of our families would still be happy and healthy. I don’t know if I can ever face her again.

Sho left town. That’s all I get out of his friends when I asked them where he is and took three punches in exchange. I deserved them, I deserved more. Even my death is not enough to make up for what I’ve done to him.

Sho, where are you? I will find you, no matter where you are, no matter what it takes. I want to see you again and apologize. I want you to know how sorry I am to cause you all the pain. I want to tell you the time I spent with you is the happiest of my life. I want to tell you I love you, with all my heart.

I hope you can give me One More Time, One More Chance.

What else need I lose, before my heart will be forgiven?
What pain need I feel, before I can see you again?
  One more time--I don't want the season to change
  One more time--That time we spent joking together

  I was always the one to give in when we didn't agree
  Your touch of selfishness made me love you all the more
  One more chance--My memories hold me back
  One more chance-- I can't say where we'll meet again

  I'm always searching, watching for a glimpse of you
  On the opposite platform, in alleyway windows
  Not that I could hope to find you there
  If I could have any wish I would be with you now
  There's nothing left that I won't do
  I'd give everything just to hold you again”

// The End

A/N:  Thank you for all your votes and nice comments on the original post HERE. I didn't intentionally end it with a cliff hanger, really XD  As for a sequel, I am still gathering thoughts. I hope there will at least be an epilogue if not a full sequel. Please stay tuned :)


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2014 03:13 am (UTC)
huaaaaa~ Satoshi~ please bring Sho back!! TT_TT
eeehh?? you're going to continue the story??
yeaaayyy!!! \(^o^)/
can't wait for it!!! xDD
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )


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