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[Yama fic] Forbidden Love (Part 14)

Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, antiquity, angst, romance, friendship
Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Just as Prince Satoshi thought that victory of the war was in the horizon, something horrible happened.


Part 14

Satoshi

I have no fear facing the thousands of Basarian soldiers, because I know I can only move forward, because I know he is by my side and won’t let me fall down. I still couldn’t bear seeing Basarian soldiers fell down before me one by one. May be that’s because I have Basarian blood in my body after all. But I didn’t dare to hesitate, there is no going back in a battlefield. All I can do is to wave my saber against all my enemies. Their blood splashed on my armor, my face. I  didn’t even remember how long I was in battle, killing those who shared the same ancestors with me. But – everything happened so fast, so suddenly – too fast that I could only hear him yelling ‘Be careful!’, too fast that I didn’t even have time to catch him when he fell from his horse…..

I don’t understand, victory is just in the horizon. How could this be happening? How could he get hurt? How could he get hurt to save my life? I waved my saber like crazy, not letting anyone came near us. He held on to me weakly, as if he’s going to break with the slightest touch. I held on to his hand which was about to let go as tight as I could.

“Don’t let go! Sho – no!” I’ve never felt this scare, this panicky in my life. “Sho, I’ll take you to Nino – hang in there – you’ll be alright! You have to be – ” I jumped onto the horse, still holding him tight in my arms. I had no time to care about anything else, as if the life in my arms would fade away with any bit of delay.

“Satoshi – don’t panic – ” His voice was not as energetic as it usually was, and his hands were shaking, but he still squeezed out a smile. “I – won’t die – don’t be – scared – ”

Tears kept falling down my face, and I can feel their warmth…..

“Nino! Nino! Save him! Save him!” When we were almost back to the main camp, I yelled as loud as I could as I continued to ride at full speed. As soon as I saw Nino coming out from the tent, I jumped off the horse and carefully brought down Sho from the horseback. He’s already totally covered in his own blood. “Nino! Be quick!”

Nino wanted to throw me out from the tent at first, because I couldn’t control myself and kept walking back and forth in the tent. God knows I was actually shaking, shaking non-stop because I was too scared. When Nino tried to take off his armor, he screamed in pain and I screamed with him. I almost wanted to kill Nino! I saw the undershirt he wore under the armor was soak with blood. Nino put so much hemostatic substance on his chest wound, but blood still kept surging out. I couldn’t help but took some bandage cloth and pressed down on his wound.

“Satoshi! Calm down! You’re just making things worse! Get out!” I’ve known Nino for so many years, this is the first time he growled at me like that. “Guard, escort Prince Satoshi to the outside!”

“No – no! Please, Nino! I won’t do anything! I won’t hinder you! I promise – I won’t make a noise!” I panicked. “Don’t – kick me out. I have to be with him – I can’t leave – ”

“Satoshi – Sato – shi – ” Before Nino could say anything, Sho had started to murmur my name semi-consciously. This is like an amnesty for me.

“You see! I must stay! Sho needs me! Nino, don’t mind me – go save him!” I forced myself to sit down, only to realize that I am shaking even more than before.  I could only hold on to the armrest as tight as possible.

“You – just come over and hold on to his hands – ” Nino glanced at me, couldn’t stand me like this after all, only shook his head and sighed.

If the shock he gave me from the moment he caught me when I jumped from the tree five years ago was a silent one, then he gave me a crashing one this time. I seemed to have forgotten to breath when I was staring at the long, deep wound in his chest and the fresh red colored blood surging out like an erupting volcano!

I felt sweats in the hand I was holding, but I couldn’t tell whether they were mine or his. His whole body was convulsing but suddenly opened his eyes and desperately trying to smile at me.

“Are you stupid or crazy?! Why did you take it for me?! I hate you, I hate you!” I cried out of control, not caring about image, or manner, only wanting to use my screams to suppress my pain.

“Don’t – hate me, Sato – shi, I – beg you – ” His face was as pale as ashes. The smile he forced out had immediately turned to hopelessness, after hearing those words of mine. “I am hurting – but – if it was you – who’s lying here – I will hurt – even more. I don’t want to – die – but if you hate – me – then I won’t – have the strength – to – continue – ” He seemed to have used every bit of energy in him to say those words. The hand I was holding was losing its warmth for the first time.

“Damn it! You two! Don’t give me the parting forever scene just yet!” Nino howled suddenly. “Both of you need to continue living for crying out loud! You, your body is usually strong, so hang in there! My golden reputation can’t be ruined by you!” Nino yelled at Sho at the same time when he swiftly treating his wound. “If you want to confess, give sweet talks, hug him, kiss him – as long as you live, I can even risk my life and tie him up for you!”

I was taken aback by Nino’s words. Had my perceptive abilities decreased or what? I didn’t seem to understand what Nino was saying. But before I could think any further, he started lecturing me again. “Hold him down so I can treat his wounds. If I can stop the bleeding then he’ll live! If you want to stay here then don’t fall into a daze!”

I held down Sho’s arms so he wouldn’t move and Nino could apply more hemostatic substance before bandaging up the wound. But my mind was suddenly filled with a bunch of questions. Is there something I missed but they both knew?

Drums of victory woke me up before I realized I actually fell aside at his bedside. Although his face was as pale as a dead person, the gentle ups and downs on his chest told me he’s still alive. His chest was bandaged with thick blood oozing white cloth. Nino was not in the tent. Even I really wanted to stay with Sho, I knew I had to go out and showed my gratitude to the soldiers who had fought so hard for our kingdom.

I ran into General Sakurai when I just went outside the tent. He must be coming to see his son. His worrisome look made me feel even more guilty.

“Your Highness, are you hurt?”

I slightly shook my head. “I am alright, but Sho was badly wounded. He’s resting inside. I’m so sorry that he got hurt, but I trust that Nino-sensei’s will be able to cure him. So please don’t worry too much. I need to go and see the returned soldiers now.”

“You Highness!” Just as I was about to walk away, the General pulled me back. “Your Highness don’t look so good either. We got a total victory this time and casualties are not many. Please do get some rest yourself. Sho – it’s his honor that he could take a slash for you. I think he is proud of doing that. I am proud of him too.”

“Satoshi-kun,” Nino’s calling made me came back from the daze. General Sakurai had already gone inside to see Sho. “How come you’re in a trance alone here? Evening winds are up. You think I’m not exhausted enough and want to get sick as well?” Nino said half joking half serious. “Come, go to my tent. I have something to talk to you.”

I looked at the armor I was wearing. I couldn’t even tell which blood stains were the enemies and which were his.

“I have clothes for you to change. I have also prepared dinner. We’ll have to guard that wounded boy tonight anyway, may as well chat a little and get some rest first.” Nino took me away without waiting for my response.

Nino’s cooking skills are just as good as his medical skills. I could already smell the flavor of the food as I walked into his tent. “Come, drink some soup first.” He handed me a bowl of hot soup after helping me to change out my bloody clothes. “I’m so tired of war already. Wait till Sho is better and we can go home.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Knowing him for so many years, we understand each other well. The more he seemed to be at ease, the more timid I get. “What did you say what you said just now? You know that – ” I took a deep breath, trying to articulate what I wanted to express. “I let him stayed with me all these years only because I had no choice. His position is special. If I hadn’t do that he wouldn’t have survived. Although he is the son of a General, but at least he’s not a member of the royal family, that’s a little better.”

Nino sat beside me listening to what I said, then looked at me and smiled. His smile seemed to involve some other meanings in it. “Satoshi-kun, is it really true that the person on the spot is mystified while bystanders see clear? Or you still don’t want to admit? Who is he to you? Why does his life or death matters to you so much?! Why do you have to spend strenuous effort to protect him all these years?! Satoshi-kun, you’ve always said he is dumb, but it seems he knew the reasons behind all that much earlier than you did!”

I hold up my chopsticks, hoping to conceal my anxieties with eating. Unfortunately I couldn’t pick up a single piece of food. At least it was Nino who put food into my bowl.

“Satoshi-kun, you’re so brave in facing everything. But you’re so timid when it comes to this thing.” Nino’s expressions became serious. “If that fool’s feelings for you are one-sided, I may have never spoken up. But I can clearly see your heart too! Your feelings for him are not a bit less. Do you know that?!”

Nino’s interrogation made me feel I have nowhere to hide, which made me mad. “What nonsense were you talking about? Did exhaustion make you crazy? We are both men! How can we have that kind of feelings for each other?! I’m telling you, I don’t love anyone! Ninomiya, don’t you understand me? All I want is that throne! I only don’t want innocent people to get hurt!”

“I shouted at you like that only because I know you too well, and tell you not to fool yourself anymore! If you really can let go, then don’t pour in anymore of your flooding emotions! You will hurt him and yourself severely eventually! But if you – ” Nino softened his voice. “ – really treasure him, then don’t hide your feelings from him anymore. Even me as a bystander feels the pain.”

“Nino – don’t force me – ” I covered my face with my hands, feeling awful. “Not only that I am a prince, me and him, we – are both men! We – ”

“Satoshi-kun, you’ve won this war, but you know very well that this makes the battle between you and Prince Jun even more intense. Sho is your people, he will become a target to attack you no matter what, because everyone can see that you treat him differently! Do you really think you distant him all these years is a mean to protect him? I’m telling you, everyone can see clearly! I won’t force you – ” Nino suddenly pulled me up. “Let’s go to see him now. Let your heart tell you what to do!”

I followed Nino silently back to my tent. General Sakurai had already left. Nobody is watching the heavily wounded Sho?! I immediately felt agitated, but still calmed myself down and sat on the bed beside him. Compare to earlier, he had started to show some signs of livelihood, at least there are sweats on his forehead.

“Satoshi – I am – here – ” I used helping him wiped his sweats as excuse to get closer to him, vaguely heard his murmurs. “Don’t be afraid – Satoshi – Satoshi – your legs – your stomach – does it hurt – Satoshi – be careful – eat more – you’re too slim – ”

His voice was sometimes soft, sometimes full of concern and worries. I put my hand on his forehead, tears falling down my face. You silly, am I the only one in your world?!


Sho

My world turned upside down in just a split second. The Basarian soldier was obviously determined to die when he rushed over, leaving me no time to even yelled ‘Be careful’! I swear, I didn’t mean to make him feel so guilty and sad for me, even though there were some giggles in me. But damn it! I was undoubtedly seriously wounded but how come I was still so conscious?! The pain on my chest was terribly distinct. The trembling of his hands also told me clearly, he was worried and scared, about me…..

People came and gone from the tent. I felt a bit lonely for no reason. He is different from me after all. He can’t just stay by my bedside like I did for him. Countless scenes went through my mind and I couldn’t tell whether they are dreams or realities. But, I realized that besides him, there is already no room in my heart for anyone else!

“Sho – you should know better, what you give me I won’t be able to return. Why did you still risk your own life to save me?” It’s him! He’s here again! “Nino, please step outside. I want to be alone with him for a while.”

“I – ” Apparently Nino was here as well. “Satoshi-kun, to be fair, shouldn’t you wait till he’s awake before talking to him?”

“The matter between me and him, your intervention ends here! I don’t want to hear anymore advice from you – ” His voice sounded very tired. I tried hard to open my eyes, but my eyelids were incredibly heavy.

Then, I felt his usual cool body temperature passed on to my face from his fingers. Nino must have left the tent. Suddenly I felt some warm fluid dripping on my face. He cried?! He cried for me?! My heart aches, making every effort to grab his hands.

“Sho, I’m tired, my heart is tired – twenty years – from the day I became sensible till now – I am really, really tired! But I can’t tell anyone! Sho, do you know? I am not allowed to feel tired. How can you be like me? How can I let you become like me? Nino said I can’t see clearly – I didn’t dare to see clearly! What can I do if I see clearly?! I won’t betray Mother, even though she never really loves me, but I’m still the only one she could rely on. I won’t stop fighting for the throne, because that’s the only way I can protect the people I want to protect! I can’t just run away and leave everything behind. Too many innocent people will be hurt, even including Nino. I can only following the path that has already been decided for me! I won this war. I’d go back and receive rewards. Then I’d officially start my bitter fight with Jun to be the next king. Sho, this kind of life does not suit you. And my life has no place for you either – ”

“Satoshi – ” I forced myself to open my eyes. I felt the piercing pain – the wound on my chest must have ruptured. “I won’t – leave you – alone – no matter what you do – I still won’t – however painful – however hurtful – however bitter – I’ll stand by you – this is my promise – to you.” I said breathlessly, feeling like someone slashed my chest all over again.

He didn’t expect me to wake up. His eyes, which were already swollen from the crying, opened wide.

“You really like me that much?” His voice was not as cold as before, but was doubtful  and lack of confidence.

“No, it’s not like, it’s love! I love you!” I wanted to say this for so long, finally found the courage to say it out.

“Do you know we can’t love?” He sobbed, but his expressions looked like a child.

“I know – but you – it’s you that first trapped me – with your love – ” I stared at him, and the next moment, I was already in his embrace. I knew for the first time, his lips are also cold…..


To be continued.....


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Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
rifnaoei
Dec. 10th, 2014 02:52 am (UTC)
finally! i had been waiting for his moment, they confessed to each other! :')

well, i always follow this fic, i'm sorry for not always commenting, :P

thank you for sharing~
waiting for next chapter~ :)
lovetteto
Dec. 10th, 2014 10:40 am (UTC)

Awwww one of best Yama fanfiction. really loved the historical theme:). thankyou so much for the amazing story, looking forward to the next part!

icha_kazeinda
Dec. 10th, 2014 11:49 am (UTC)
uwaaaaaa~ Kate-chan~~ finally you're back!!! Miss u so much dear.. T^T
kyaaaaaaaaaa~~ finally!!!! that word 'love' finally came out!!! yeaaaaaayy!! \(^^)/
thanks for update and can't wait for next chapter.. ^^
yun_miyake
Dec. 10th, 2014 03:37 pm (UTC)
finally!!
confession
satoshi,,,you are such a fool
don't let sho die on you T^T
wjktl
Dec. 17th, 2014 05:01 pm (UTC)
owhhh..this is so sad but sweet too~
they confessed to each other

Edited at 2014-12-17 05:02 pm (UTC)
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )